On relationships, sexuality

The disabled community still waits for our 1960s sexual revolution 
Allan Hennessy, The Guardian, 26 June 2016
Born with a debilitating spinal disability, 53-year- old Frenchman Marcel Nuss, met his first wife, Gaby, in hospital as he battled for his life at the age of 22. Now divorced, he lives with his partner, Marie, and his two children in the leafy suburbs of Strasbourg. “I often had comments like ‘Oh, he’s a bit ugly’,” Marie reveals in Disability and Sexuality: Exploring the Intimacy Option, a documentary exploring the interplay between disability and sexual liberation ...

Let's take the initiative to start a sexual revolution for people with disabilities 
Servaas Kamerling, The Guardian, 14 July 2016
We need to push the boundaries and create new role models to push the barriers of acceptance and normality around disability and sex ... Let’s not wait for the revolution, let’s create it and see the barometer rise.

Report on the Australian Youth with Disability National Forum: Promoting Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights

Australian Cross-Disability Alliance, February 2016

In November 2015, the Australian Cross Disability Alliance (ACDA) ...  hosted a national forum of young people with disability on the theme of sexual and reproductive rights ... as part of an exciting and innovative global project being established by the United Nations, to improve the human rights of young people with disability worldwide – particularly their sexual and reproductive rights and their right to freedom from violence ...

Why shouldn't individuals with a learning disability be in a relationship?
Rebecca Wallett, Nursing Times, 5 July 2016
Learning disability branch editor, Rebecca, was shocked to find that individuals close to her were unaware that a disability does not change a person’s desire and right to be in a relationship ...

Letter to editor, Australian Women's Weekly, August 2016:

The Dateables story about people having relationships that are important to us all was wonderful. The maturity shown by the couples in what they considered in what it takes to be a good partner and their understanding and consideration of each others abilities, brought tears to my eyes. Many couples today could take a leaf out of their book. Liz Dore has done a wonderful thing providing this service.  K. Bart, Newcastle

Love, intimacy and disabiity

We are increasingly hearing about people with Down syndrome and other disabilities in long term and intimate relationships, and/or getting married, but it can still be a difficult need to meet:

The barriers to romance for adults with disabilities
Chris Serres, Daily Life, 24th November 2015
... For people with disabilities like Rachel and Nicholas, such freedom to be intimate is rare. Disabled adults complain of having to overcome constant hurdles to engage in romantic activity and sustain loving relationships. The obstacles include arbitrary curfews, lack of transportation and segregated housing that cuts them off from mainstream social life and opportunities to date. Often, the barriers are imposed by group home operators that place safety above intimacy ...

Here comes the bride

Carly Findlay, Don't DIS my ABILITY (blog), 26th November 2015

I will be a bride in March. Although my parents encouraged me to be anything I wanted to be, I never thought I'd be a bride. I tried dating for many years, but it was hard to meet a man who was ok with my severe skin condition – Ichthyosis ...

... Outsiders often view getting into a relationship as the Holy Grail for people with disabilities. They see it as a big achievement, because disability is often portrayed as undesirable, unattractive even. Love is, in my experience, sometimes harder to come by because of disability, but not impossible ...

Friendship - A guide to finding friends and building community

Kay Mills, Centre for Welfare Reform (UK), 2015
Kay Mills is one of the leading experts in the UK in how to help people with learning disabilities overcome the risk of social isolation - by getting friends, building community and finding love. This guide is easy to read and packed full of good advice and inspiring stories.

Too little attention has been paid to love, friendship and community in the lives of people with learning disabilities. Instead organisations focus on housing or support services, but fail to deal with much more important issues of the heart and spirit. This is the next big challenge ...

'Mothers and Sons' road tour 2014: national, regional + documentary

Two opportunities coming up to see Sons and Mothers on stage, and a documentary on its making.  Some of the performers have Down syndrome :

Sunday Arts up Late: Sons & Mothers screens on ABC1

Christopher Houghton, Arts (ABC), 17th June 2014

No Strings Attached is an Adelaide based theatre company that creates unique work based on the perspective of disabled artists and performers. In 2012 they made Sons and Mothers – a theatre production that explored the bonds of love and frustration experienced by disabled sons and their mums ... (the) documentary is a fly on the wall journey following the performers and writer/director Alirio Zavarce as they bring the show together, from workshop to performance ...

• Sons & Mothers screens on Sunday 20th July 2014 at 10:35pm on ABC1

Sons & Mothers hits the Road

No Strings Attached - News, 1st June 2014
After the runaway success of Sons & Mothers’ premiere season in the 2012 Adelaide Fringe, and after foot stomping standing ovations in its 2013 Space season, No Strings Attached Theatre of Disability is proud to announce that in 2014 Performing Lines will deliver a national tour of Sons & Mothers through the Road Work initiative ...
... “It took seven years to create Sons & Mothers: five years for the idea to gestate, two years to develop, three weeks to rehearse and two weeks to perform. In those brief two weeks, Sons & Mothers became the buzz of the 2012 Adelaide Fringe. Five-star reviews and great word of mouth led to sold out houses and top Fringe Awards. A magic energy continues to animate this unusual show that appeals to audiences of all ages. As one reviewer put it, this show appeals to anyone who’s ever had a mother, and we are thrilled that audiences all over Australia will get to see it" ...

What I'd say ... "I'm not here to tag along"

To brighten your Tuesday ...

What I'd Say (4 m 17s)



Open Future Learning, published on 25th April 2014
Listen to the words, 'What I'd Say' is a powerful song about our work. It is written and performed by Michael Steinbruck and Andrew Maroko, and stars Roger Crown. Visit www.openfuturelearning.org

Direct link to You Tube

New resources on sexuality/sex education and assessing consent

New additions to the growing body of good quality information and resources about sexuality education designed to specifically meet the needs of those with intellectual disability are always welcome.  These two are the latest to come to our notice, both are freely available:

Sexuality education is vital for teens with intellectual disabilitiesLeslie Walker-Hirsch, Expert Beacon
... Many parents ask, “Does my child really need sexuality education?” The answer is an emphatic yes. A person with a cognitive, intellectual or developmental disability needs the same information about sexuality that everyone else needs in order to be a safe, healthy and responsible member of the community. This article provides first steps for parents and teachers--and clears up some misunderstandings about social and sexual development of individuals with intellectual disabilities ...

The release of a useful and necessary new assessment tool was announced on Dave Hingsburger's blog, Rolling Around in My Head, yesterday:  

Two agencies, Vita Community Living Services and The Centre for Behaviour Health Science, have worked together since November 23 of 2012 to create a new assessment tool: The Assessment of Levels of Knowledge - Sexuality and Consent (TALK-SC).  

The tool can be used as a pre/post test for sex education or relationship training classes. It also can be used to determine if a person with an intellectual disability can give consent in the area of sexuality and relationships.   

The tool is designed such that if someone, undergoing a consent assessment, does not pass, the score will give information that will allow education to be pinpointed to the exact areas of need. TALK - SC will be released tomorrow, free of charge.  

Any clinician, educator or agency who wishes a copy of the assessment tool may simply request one by sending an email to dhingsburger@vitacls.org

The Down Syndrome NSW members' library holds several books and videos useful for supporting sex/relationship education for people with Down syndrome from an early age.

• To contact Jo at the library, ph. 9841 4410, or email library@dsansw.org.au

Belonging and Connection of School Students with Disability

Children with Disability Australia has released its latest issues paper Belonging and Connection of School Students with Disability by Dr Sally Robinson and Julia Truscott, online, before its official launch, with this summary:

All students want to feel like they belong and that they are valued in their school community. School is a centrally important place to young people — not only where they learn fundamental academic knowledge, but also where skills in making and keeping friends, relating to peers, and social justice principles are learnt and practiced. What happens when young people feel like they don’t belong? 

This paper examines a series of key issues about belonging and connection for students with disability and demonstrates research that shows:

• Feeling a sense of belonging and connection makes a positive difference to school life.

• There are a number of key elements to belonging and connection — friendship, peer acceptance, capability, being valued and supportive relationships with key adults.

• When belonging and connection are threatened, there are several areas in which the impact is seen. The friendships of students are limited; they are lonely; the places they can go within the school are controlled; there are tensions in negotiating support relationships; students feel and are excluded; and kid’s strengths aren’t seen by other students or adults in their school communities.

• Bullying is a particularly strong threat to a felt sense of belonging and connection.

Children with Disability Australia, 23rd January 2014 

The paper is available here.

Great resources about relationships: a newsletter, a video and a Facebook page

Relationsips and Private Stuff newsletter online
This issue includes information about

• Relationships and happiness
• A Healthy Living Checklist
• A movie recommendation
• A Relationships Skills workshop on 1st February in Burwood
• Two dates for Date-able Dances in February

Liz Dore, from Relationship and Private Stuff is interviewed in this video, available online, about the need for relationships, as is a young gay man with a disability:



Relationsips and Private Stuff newsletter online
This issue includes information about

• Relationships and happiness
• A Healthy Living Checklist
• A movie recommendation
• A Relationships Skills workshop on 1st February in Burwood
• Two dates for Date-able Dances in February

Relationships and Private Stuff is also on Facebook, here

Relationship Skills and Private Stuff: Awareness Course

This workshop will cover information through a variety of activities on dating, relationships, intimate affection, consent and safety. Going to a local coffee shop will be a fun activity to reinforce learning about organising and participating in social outings.

This course includes two sessions and is for adults with disability.

27th April and 4th May
Woodstock Community Centre,
Fitzroy St, Burwood NSW
Cost: $155 (Discounts available).

For more information: click here  or download this Registration form